PRESENT OVER PERFECT

A reflection on presence, expectations, and remembering what truly matters

Motherhood is layered.
It holds joy and love and beauty—
but also fatigue, doubt, and the quiet ache of wondering: Am I doing enough?

We wear so many hats—
nurturer, teacher, chef, comforter, guide.
And yet, no matter how much we give,
that shadow of “not enoughness” often lingers.
We question, compare, scroll, strive—
and sometimes lose sight of what’s already good and whole.

On Not Feeling “Enough”

Let’s be honest: We are often our own harshest critics.
And the voices we tune into—hello, social media—don’t always help.
But our children?
They don’t need perfect meals or spotless homes.
They don’t need polished parenting philosophies.

They need us.
Our presence.
Our eyes when they speak.
Our arms when they crumble.
Our laughter when we remember how to play.

The pressure to perform is loud.
But the magic of motherhood?
It’s often subtle.
Found in the ordinary, the undone, the soft places in between.

The Power of Presence

When I doubt myself, I watch my children.
They remind me—again and again—what truly matters.
They don’t need a flawless mother.
They need a present one.

Cuddles on the couch.
A shared joke in the car.
Messy kitchen dance parties.
Tears wiped with soft hands.
These are the moments that build belonging.

Presence isn’t flashy. It’s not curated. But it transforms.

I think of a quote from Compassion by Henri Nouwen:

“We have lost the simple but difficult gift of being present to each other. We have lost this gift because we have been led to believe that presence must be useful.”

And yet—I think it’s the very thing we all long for most.

Remember This

There will be hard days. There will be moments you forget.
But the truth remains:

You are not failing.
You are becoming.
And your presence—however imperfect—is enough.

So the next time doubt creeps in,
place your hand on your heart and remember:
They don’t need more.
They just need you.