How to be Honest ... When “I’m fine” becomes self-abandonment
Hi mama, Kara here ✨
So much of motherhood is learning how to hold more, more love, more responsibility, more tenderness, more exhaustion. And if you were the strong one, the capable one, the helper, the “I can figure it out” one before motherhood… that part of you likely got louder.
I’ve always been incredibly self-sufficient.
Middle child of five, I learned early: If I want something, I have to make it happen.
But when I had my 2nd Rune... that self-sufficiency stopped working.
I felt like I was underwater more often than not — overwhelmed, overstretched, and honestly, exhausted. And even though people offeredsupport… I didn’t know how to let myself receive it.
Friends would ask, Do you need anything?
Caleb would say, What do you need?
And every time, I’d respond with: No, I’m fine. I’ve got it.
But I wasn’t fine.
I was holding everything alone.
And what I didn’t realize at the time was this:
Saying “I’m fine” when we’re not is a form of self-abandonment.
Not asking for help wasn’t strength, it was fear.
Fear of being too much.
Fear of being a burden.
Fear of not being supported the way I needed.
And the cost of that quiet self-denial is real.
I found myself growing resentful, not because Caleb wasn’t showing up, but because I wasn’t telling the truth about what I needed.
Motherhood requires honesty.
Honesty with our bodies.
Honesty with our needs.
Honesty with our capacity.
So I want to offer you the same reflection I had to face:
Where am I pretending I’m okay because I don’t want to seem needy?
What help would I ask for if I trusted that my needs matter?
Where am I longing to be held, and telling myself I shouldn’t need it?
You don’t have to do this alone.
Your needs are not too much.
Asking for support is not a failure, it is motherhood in its wisdom.
If this resonates, and you want support in finding your way back to yourself in motherhood, to your voice, your needs, your identity — I offer 1-hour Unstuck Mama Sessions. You can check them out HERE ✨
They’re gentle, grounding, and deeply clarifying.
With love (and a hand on your heart),
Kara
